Things I’ve actually heard college students say
- “Look how pretty my notes are!! Too bad I’ll never study them”
- “I might look fine in class but I’m dying inside"
- “I’ve never seen frozen and at this point i’m afraid to"
- “when the professor shows up I’m just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leave”
- ”shut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakes”
- ”Is it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this exam”
- “I need more gay people in my life I’m suffocating in straights”
- ”I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die”
- “why the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait they’re delivering them? ok buy 3”
- “i feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people off”
- “yo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight g”
- “I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian”
- “I’VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAY”
- “instead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIES”
feel free to add anything you’ve heard
- “yeah I’m totally going to pour my redbull into my coffee, don’t worry about me”
- “can I just PLEASE get hit by a car right now I’m in the mood to spend like a month in the hospital”
- “I speak squirrel dude I’m like their king”
- “I’m going to take a nap in the corner of the library because my dorm is too far away and I’m honestly too tired to walk”
- “I wrote ‘sorry for the wet spots that was where I cried’ at the bottom of my exam and turned it in”
- “my face when I’m walking to class is so bad that no one wants to talk to me”
“Some days, I’m really tempted to walk in front of one of the university’s buses because I hear you get free tuition”
- “I fell asleep in the two hour bio lecture…five times…yeah haha how am I alive”
- “okay hands up, who’s getting the new pokemon games?”
